Table Manners and Etiquette

When Can You Start Eating – and How Does Toasting Work?

Sharing a meal isn’t just about food – it’s about the experience, the people, and the atmosphere. But when exactly is it okay to start eating? What’s the right way to toast? And do the rules change depending on the setting?

Let’s dive into the most common situations – with a glass of wine in hand and a good dose of common sense.

When is it okay to start eating?

At someone’s home – follow the host’s lead

If you’re invited to someone’s home, classic etiquette applies:
Wait until everyone has their food and the host says “please, go ahead.”
This shows respect for the host and appreciation for the shared experience. Even if your dish is steaming hot and your stomach is growling – patience is part of good manners.

If the host says:

“Go ahead and start before it gets cold!”
...you’re free to dig in.

At a restaurant – a little more flexible

Etiquette in restaurants is more relaxed, but still requires some social awareness.

• Small groups (2–4 people):
  If your hot dish arrives before the others, it’s generally fine to start eating – as long as you ask politely first.
  A simple:

“Mind if I start?”
...shows consideration.

• Larger groups (6 or more):
  Traditionally, you should wait until most people have been served, even if your dish is already in front of you.
  It may seem illogical – after all, the more people, the longer your food sits – but the goal is to avoid splitting the table into eaters and watchers.

That said, modern etiquette is often more practical. If your dish (especially fish) is time-sensitive, it’s perfectly acceptable to start eating if your tablemates give you the green light. Communication is key.

Tapas, buffets & wine tastings – relaxed and informal

In more casual settings like tapas dinners, buffets, or wine tastings, the rules are much looser.
It’s perfectly fine to start eating once you have something on your plate – just make sure to:

• Share with others

• Don’t grab everything at once

• Keep roughly the same pace as the group

Does the type of dish matter?

Yes – surprisingly, the kind of dish you're served can influence the etiquette.

Fish – delicate and time-sensitive

Fish cools quickly and loses its perfect texture fast. A beautifully seared fillet should be eaten right away. That’s why it’s entirely acceptable to start eating a fish dish immediately, especially if you ask politely first.

Meat – a bit more forgiving

Meat dishes like steak or lamb hold heat better and can wait a minute or two without suffering.
So unless you’re dealing with a very precise doneness (like rare steak), it’s often better to wait for others – or at least ask before you start.

When should you toast?

Toasting is one of the most charming rituals of any shared meal – and especially important when wine is involved.

First toast

Wait until the host or someone at the table initiates the first toast – often once everyone has their drink.
A simple “Cheers!” brings the table together and marks the beginning of the meal.

Bonus points for eye contact during the toast – it’s polite, and makes the moment feel more sincere.

During the meal

It’s perfectly fine to toast more than once – when changing wine, celebrating a comment, or just enjoying the vibe.
Spontaneous toasts are usually more appreciated than formal ones.

Wine tastings

During wine tastings, toasting isn’t necessary. The focus is on aroma, taste, and discussion – not ceremony. Sip when the wine is poured and enjoy the moment.

Quick guide

Etiquette isn’t about being rigid – it’s about making everyone feel comfortable at the table. By combining a little tradition with common sense, you show both good taste and good company.

So next time your perfectly cooked fish hits the table or someone pours you a great glass of wine – take a look around, ask politely, make eye contact during the toast... and enjoy.

Cheers & bon appétit! 🍷